Episode 11: Metrics

How I’m using metrics in this context is my way of talking about who you measure yourself by, and what you measure yourself by. First and foremost, it is not fair for you to compare what you output or what you have against any other human. And precisely because we are human, it happens—we do it sometimes. My intention with this article is to make the point clear that you are one of one, and therefore incomparable to anyone else that isn’t you.

You can’t compare a sunflower’s beauty with the pricks of a cactus. Each plant thrives with its own unique set of requirements and environment. That is how absurd and illogical it would be for you to compare your development with somebody else’s. A cactus can live up to approximately 200 years with its natural conditions, while a sunflower can live about one year. Someone living in Alaska immediately has many differences from me living in Texas. Alaskans often find humor in their extreme weather, laughing at how conditions that would shut down other states are considered normal. The resilience of an Alaskan could be different than the resilience I build through other habits or activities. The environment and social setting you grow up in shape your way of thinking. This is why certain sports celebrities demonstrate so much pride for their small hometowns—they know how difficult it can be to overcome the struggles of being born in the middle of nowhere. And the fact that that athlete is now in a better position than their past self justifies that pride.

Don’t let anyone on social media (or in real life) define how you should look. Just because you see endless videos of people getting lip fillers, injections, or implants—and those videos have thousands of likes—does not mean that doing the same will get you the same results. (In another article, I’ve already talked about boundaries, knowing yourself, and understanding your inherent worth instead of seeking external validation.) I’m not saying, “Don’t get lip injections, boo!” I’m saying make sure your choices come from a good place in your heart. Know the consequences and benefits of what you decide. Know what part of yourself you are honoring, and reflect on whether this aligns with who you are now—and who you’re becoming.

I did two consecutive pull-ups, and someone next to me on the same bar did thirteen. A year ago, I could do zero. Everything I did in that year is different from what that person did. The food they ate was different from mine. They wore grips; I didn’t. There are so many variables and differences that make it impossible to make any clear, accurate, or fair comparison to anyone else.

The only person you should want to impress is you. The only person you should try to better is you. The only way to live a life of more peace is by reflecting on the current positives you have control over. Think about the kid version of you when you catch yourself comparing. When you notice your own judgment creeping in, reframe those thoughts: “Is this showing kindness to me? Am I giving myself the opportunity to learn something here? Would it be fair to tell younger me that they’re worth less because of this?”

The answer is no—your worth comes from you, and you only.